


Still

by bae6stan



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Drama & Romance, Fanfiction, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2019-10-10 04:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17419262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bae6stan/pseuds/bae6stan
Summary: We used to sing the same love songYou used to write about our love storyNow I'm singing break up songsWishing you'd come back to me.





	1. 1

Sometimes, you've spent so much time with someone that you associate almost everything with them. 

Sometimes, Youngjae would remember that one time Jaebum embarrassed himself, when he spilled his coffee on his shirt, whenever the younger pass by the usual cafe they both used to go to. He would remember how happy he was, when he went on a road trip with him, whenever You Are plays on the radio.

Youngjae would remember the nights they've spent together, cuddling on his bed while Jaebum sings to his ear, whenever he hears his song on the radio.

"Could you turn that off?" Youngjae said to his manager, pressing on his temples.

He's seated on his car, on the way to their company. Just Because is blasting on the car's speakers, a sweet was voice resonating that was later on followed by another sweet voice. It was sweet yet Youngjae can't help but think that it was also sexy.

"Why? It's a good song though," 

Yes, it is. He never had a bad song.

"You've been playing his songs these past few days," Youngjae commented.

"Yeah. I mean, why not? JB's songs are really good. His voice is good. His lyrics are good," his manager said.

He just nodded and silence filled the air.

He knew it. He knew it better than any one else. 

Youngjae had always admired his voice. He had always admired his songs.

He had always been amazed by how beautiful Jaebum's words were: how each word fits perfectly; how it pierces the people listening. They spoke of love, of passion. Some of them were painful, but still beautiful. 

"What do you think of doing a collaboration with him?" Youngjae's manager broke the silence.

He shot him a look, thinking about what the other said. 

Youngjae felt his heart raise by just the thought of meeting him again. A collaboration... Of course, he would love that. But meeting Jaebum again scares him.

So he shook his head.

"I've got a long way to go before I can do a collaboration with someone like him," Youngjae just said as he stared outside the window.

"Didn't you use to put up videos on the internet with him?"

Youngjae let silence linger for a moment before whispering a reply.

"It's different now,"

Too different.

A lot have happened. And Youngjae's afraid that they can't do things that they used to do anymore. 

They can't watch movies together anymore. They can't eat together anymore. They can't sing the songs that they used to sing anymore. Heck, they don't even talk to each other anymore.

It's because things are a lot different now.

Youngjae smiled bitterly as he remembered the thrill that they get whenever they're uploading a new video, and the joy whenever someone comments, appreciating their work.

Good times.

"Actually, it's not that long anymore," his manager said, earning back Youngjae's gaze. "You'll be singing a song he wrote."

Youngjae just stared at him, not believing what he said. He stared at the other's face for a minute but his face showed that he was serious.

They arrived at their company not too long after and Youngjae felt his stomach turn as they verified what his manager had said.

"They offered you to sing an OST of a drama. JB wrote the song. It's already done. You just need to record it," the supervisor said.

"W-Wait... For real?" Youngjae asked, his heart wanting to break out from his chest.

"Yes. You need to meet JB as soon as possible after you study the demo he sent," he said. "This is a great opportunity, Youngjae. It's a big drama. And JB is well known for the songs he wrote. We need you to do this right."

Although unsure of what's bound to happen, Youngjae asked for the demo and immediately tried to study it.

The thought of singing a song Jaebum wrote made Youngjae's heart beat faster than it should. It made him nervous. It made him think of the possibility of being able to go back to what they were.

Everyday I think of seeing you

Everyday my heart skips a beat

Please always stay with me

I wonder everyday

What I did to deserve you

Who always takes my side 

Jaebum sang the demo. His voice seeped to Youngjae's ears and to every part of his body. He listened to his words. He listened to it like the other's talking to him; like how Jaebum used to talk to Youngjae.

Youngjae listened to it repeatedly. he played it every day: when he wakes up, when he's driving, when he's doing just nothing.

He sang its sweet melody. He sang it like it's their own story. He sang it like how they used to sing their own love song.

And it pierces him. As they had long stopped singing their love song, and their love story was long over.

 

Almost a week had passed and Youngjae already finished studying the demo. He fiddled with his fingers as he sat beside his manager, waiting in Jaebum's studio. 

It's the day that he's recording. Few minutes passed by and Jaebum entered the room with another man. Hope and excitement sprang through Youngjae's chest. 

He immediately stood up and greeted them.

It's been a while since Youngjae had seen the older. He still looked as handsome as ever. He lost a little weight, making his features more sharp. And he still uses the same cologne. 

Youngjae missed his scent. He missed Jaebum.

"Hello, Youngjae. Sorry for waiting," the other man, who introduced himself as Jaebum's manager, said. "He had a schedule before this." he said as he gestured towards Jaebum.

Jaebum hasn't spared Youngjae even a glance since he had arrived. He kept himself busy fixing the equipment that they needed for recording even though someone had already done that earlier.

And Youngjae felt a pang on his chest.

"Go in. Let's start," Jaebum said as he sat in front of his computer.

 

Again.

The word that Youngjae had heard for almost a hundred time since he had started recording. It annoys him so much as Jaebum doesn't even explain what the younger had done wrong or what he should improve. Youngjae was pretty sure that he was only doing what he had heard from the demo that the older did.

"Are you really just going to continue to mimic my style? I heard you're better than this," 

I heard...

But didn't he know me better?

Youngjae saw the cold look that the other threw at him and he could only bite his lip and suppress his tears.

"So? Can you do this?" Jaebum asked.

Youngjae drank some water and took a deep breath before answering. 

The recording continued as he dived into his memories: his memories with Jaebum when he felt the happiest. He tried remembering the times they've spent together.

Youngjae tried remembering how his heart skipped a beat whenever the older kisses him. He tried to remember how the other's skin felt when it touches his. He tried to feel his hug. He tried to remember his voice; how Jaebum used to called his name with his sweet voice. 

He tried to remember how Jaebum looked at him with loving eyes, the loving stare that is so different with what he is giving the younger now.

Youngjae felt his chest getting heavier. He slowly had trouble breathing out the words of the song. But still, he continued because he didn't want to disappoint Jaebum. 

He didn't want to disappoint him more.

The recording ended a few minutes before midnight. Youngjae walked out of the recording room and thanked everyone who worked that day. But Jaebum still didn't spare the younger a glance. He kept his gaze on his computer.

Throughout the day, Jaebum treated Youngjae like he didn't know him. It annoyed the younger how the other acted like they shared nothing in the past.

"I hate you," Youngjae whispered as he walked past Jaebum.

And Youngjae heard him answer before he walked out of the door.

"Me too,"

He gripped his chest as he felt tears welling up on his eyes.

Youngjae hates himself as he didn't mean the words that he said. And it annoys him more that he can't hate him. 

He keeps on forgetting that it's been long since their song stopped playing. And they could never play the same song the same way again.


	2. Pretend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is long overdue but please bear with me. Adulting is hard.

Ever since the collaboration, Youngjae had isolated himself in his apartment. He didn't accept calls; he didn't go out. He spent his time playing on his computer, believing that it could distract him. 

That's why it hasn't been long that his friend, Mark, came busting his door.

"This is all where you've been all this time, Youngjae?" Mark said when he entered his room. But the young man didn't tear his eyes from the monitor of his computer.

"What the hell, Youngjae? Is there any problem?" The older asked.

"Wait... Let me just finish...," but Mark didn't let him finish his game as he unplugged the computer.

"What the-" Youngjae protested but Mark held the arms of his chair as he made the younger face him.

"We couldn't contact you for about two weeks and now, you're telling me to wait? Seriously, what's wrong with you?" The older frowned and looked into his eyes.

Youngjae remained silent. And that's when Mark noticed it, the dark circles under his eyes, his slumped shoulders. 

He's been friends with the younger for a long time. He knows his relationship with JB. And by the way how Youngjae looks right now, he already knows how their previous meet up went.

Mark only sighed and patted him on the shoulder.

"Wash up. They're calling you in the company," Mark said. "Don't even try to make excuses. I'll wait for you and bring you there myself."

Youngjae let his head drop for a moment before standing up. He knew this time would come. His company would probably scold him for being out of reach. They might even suspend him from doing some work. 

But what can he do? He can't bring himself to do anything after what have happened. He had been slapped of the fact that Jaebum doesn't look at him the way he used to.

His heart felt heavy. He felt tired and he didn't want to do anything.

 

Mark pulled up his car in front of the company building. He gave Youngjae a light squeeze on his shoulder before the younger went inside.

Youngjae was expecting that his superiors would scold him but he was surprised to be greeted by smiles when he entered the meeting room.

"Youngjae! Finally, you've come here!" His manager greeted him. "You haven't been answering my calls so I was worried. But I suppose you only needed time for yourself."

Youngjae only nodded and smiled a little.

"Did you know that the OST that you've sang actually did great? We've been hearing good feedbacks from the fans." He looked at his manager in disbelief.

"Really?"

Youngjae has been slowly gaining popularity. He's getting recognized for his music. As someone who had wanted to do music since he was young, he felt his heart grow big. He felt... proud.

"Yeah! Actually there were some show guesting for you but we're still weighing them out. But there's one that we're hoping that you'd agree to do." 

"What show is it?" Youngjae asked, showing interest.

"The Producers," His manager said.

Youngjae's eyes widened in shock. It's a show that's been garnering attention from the public because various talented artists and producers go on the show to produce music. And to think that the producers of the show are wanting him in the show, it's a great opportunity for him.

"Actually, I think it was because of your recent collaboration with JB,"

"What?"

"If last time, you sang to JB's song, now, they want you to write music with him."

Youngjae rolled his eyes before mumbling.

"Here I thought I'm finally getting recognized for my own talent."

"Hey, you are recognized for talent. It's just that many are really anticipating about you and JB, especially since you used to work together."

Youngjae always had the dream of being a singer. And he had shared this dream with Jaebum. They tried to build on these dreams as they sang together and created videos. They always sang for fun.

Until they both got casted in a company. They trained at the same time. But JB debuted first. He never doubted the older's talent. But he had started doubting his.

"It's okay. I'll do it,"

 

The company ended up accepting the offer. And it hasn't been long that he's already Youngjae's already on hi way to meet with the producers of the show. 

He's nervous. Although the song did good, his last encounter with Jaebum wasn't. They exchanged hate.

He's not even sure why Jaebum accepted the offer. He has no reason to. He already has an established career and a stable fanbase. It is not unknown to the public how he writes and helps in producing his own songs.

But then, Jaebum is also an artist. He might be wanting to show more of his artistry. And his relationship with Youngjae must not be a hindrance to it.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Youngjae," one of the producers of the show shook Youngjae's hand.

Youngjae's sitted beside Jaebum. Although sitting side by side, they haven't shared a conversation beside the awkward hellos that they've given each other.

The producer oriented them how the filming will go, the schedule and the places it will take place. He told them how it really won't follow a certain script as they wanted to show the public how artists really make music.

"You're both known for writing your own lyrics and being hands-on on the production of your music. May we know how you usually do it?" The producer asked but was only answered with silence.

Youngjae looked at Jaebum who looked uninterested and like he isn't gonna talk any minute so he propped himself to answer.

"Uhh...," Youngjae coughed. "I usually read books and if I get a feel of what I want to write, I travel around to get more inspiration. I also play the piano to create the melody that I like."

The producer nodded. "What about you, JB?"

They both looked at Jaebum who still had his head low. He was busy with fiddling with his fingers.

"We're quite the same." Youngjae said which made the producer turn his head back to him. "Jaebum also likes to read books," JB's real name rolled off his tongue so naturally.

"But he likes to use pictures to form stories for his lyrics. He likes to take pictures... so yeah," 

The producer nodded his head once again. "Okay, so you both can go out and travel a bit," and he wrote on his notebook.

Youngjae turned his head to Jaebum when he heard him scoff.

"You remember that, huh," he mumbled to himself. Youngjae was gonna answer him but the producer already stood up.

"Okay. We'll contact you once things are final," Youngjae and Jaebum also stood up. "I hope you wouldn't be too pressured for this show and just do as you always do." 

They shook the producers' hands. Both stayed in the room until the producers were gone.

Once the producers were out of the room, Youngjae started talking.

"Can we talk?" 

"After all this time, now you want to talk?" Youngjae could feel every drop of sarcasm in the other's words.

"Please, Jaebum, can we do this right?" Youngjae pleaded.

Silence filled the atmosphere between them. Youngjae looked at Jaebum who has still has head low.

"This...," Jaebum lifted his head and looked at Youngjae, directly at his eyes. "What exactly is this?"

Youngjae felt his hear tug. He felt his heart clench. Jaebum's eyes that used to form crescents looked so tired. He sounded tired. 

He doesn't know if the other's words held other meaning and he doesn't want to assume.

"This show! This might mean a little for you but this means a lot to me."

Jaebum slowly nodded his head. "This show...," he whispered.

Silence filled the air once again. It was so thick that he wanted to leave. But he can't while Jaebum still hasn't answered him. It's true that this show also means a lot to him.

A few minutes passed and Jaebum suddenly stood and headed to the door.

Youngjae immediately stood and called for him. "Can you at least pretend that we're okay? That you don't hate me?"

Jaebum stopped on his tracks, just before the door handle. Youngjae stared at his broad back that was facing him. The back that he used to lean on. The back that used to carry him.

"How can I pretend when you're the one who broke me?" Jaebum said, his voice full of hurt, before twisting the know and exiting the room.

Youngjae was left dumbfounded as he plopped on his chair. Tears started forming on his eyes.

Little did Jaebum know, all this time, Youngjae was broken too.


End file.
